With the new coronavirus capturing headlines around the world and causing nerves in Tokyo ahead of this summer’s Olympics, the International Olympic Committee moved on Friday to reclaim the spotlight from the contagion.

No fun allowed at torch relay

Local organizers in Tokyo fired the first shot in the campaign to put the virus in its place by reminding spectators at the torch relay that no video they might shoot after standing in the cold waiting for the runners to pass can be uploaded to social media so their friends can see it.

“That would be too much fun,” an organizing spokesman said. “It simply can’t be permitted according to the IOC rules.”

Because of the outbreak, organizers have considered downsizing the relay, a treasured living heirloom of the Olympic movement from Nazi Germany.

The rules are ostensibly to protect broadcast rights, the spokesman said.

“You think we’re going to let people have a good time at our sponsors’ expense? You want to do that? Go film the virus. It doesn’t have any sponsors to worry about.”